Chic and functional.

I love it.

UPDATE 1: Hot Air has the video.

Funniest. Voicemail. Ever.

Check it out at ACE OF SPADES HQ.

Nice!

Michelle Obama - Juggler in Chief.

Hat Tip: JammieWearingFool

A Deltona man is in jail, accused of shoving his mother and throwing a taco at her, in a dispute that began when she unplugged his video game.

Dena Moir, 54, told Volusia County deputy sheriffs she called her 19-year-old son Zachary several times to come downstairs for dinner Tuesday. When he didn’t respond, she said she went upstairs and unplugged his Xbox. She told deputies her son pushed her, called her names and ordered out of his room.

The woman said she was cleaning the kitchen when her son came down to eat and that she pushed him to the side because he was in her way. At that point, deputies said, the man smacked his mother on the left arm, called her an offensive word and threw his taco in her face.

He is being held without bail in the Volusia County Branch Jail, charged with domestic violence battery.

What a bastard.

A 6 year-old boy an 5 year-old girl from Germany were stopped by police when they tried to catch a plane to Africa.  The children had no money or tickets, but were dead-set on flying to Africa to “take a walk in the sun.”  Apparently they were SO over the cruel German winter. 

The kids then revealed they were eloping.  They had planned to travel to Africa to get married.  They even brought the girl’s 7 year-old sister along to serve as a witness.  The police explained that they had no money, therefore could not go anywhere, then pleaded with the children to reconsider.  A police officer offered them a tour of the station, instead of a plane ride.  The parents got their children back safely and have installed extra locks on the doors.  I just hope they’re practicing safe sex.

Heartache, though. The XV7H will not travel to mach speed.

breitbart.tv

Are there any venture capitalists willing to help out Alfie Carrington?

It is only $70,000.

10tv.com

Man Outsmarts Carjackers With Text Message

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A man who was carjacked outside a south side restaurant said his friends helped him come up with a plan to outsmart the thieves, 10TV News reported Thursday.

Alan Heuss was sitting in his BMW on Wednesday night with the engine running when a man with a gun approached him, 10TV’s Kurt Ludlow reported.

“Some young man came up and opened the passenger door and stuck a gun in my face and told me to get out,” Heuss said.

The thieves got away with Heuss’ car, cell phone and some cash.

Heuss filed a police report and then met his friends to drown his sorrows, Ludlow reported. One of his friends came up with an idea to contact the thieves.

“He said ‘I’m going to text these guys, I’m going to blow some smoke their way,’” Heuss said. “He said. ‘I’m going to tell them I’ve got a bunch of hot chicks, as if I’m texting you, and that we’ve got some drugs, too.’”

The carjackers took the bait, Ludlow reported.

“Very early in the morning they gave him the address where they were,” Heuss said. “They were expecting this hot chick to arrive with drugs, and Columbus police officers arrived instead.”

Three men were caught red-handed in the stolen vehicle. Heuss said he expected to get his vehicle out of the impound lot on Friday.

“It’s a little seven-hour saga where the good guys won,” Heuss said.

Investigators said the carjackers are suspected in a series of car thefts.

Nice! I am glad Mr. Heuss retrieved his BMW.

Criminals are stupid.

Thanks to Scoop This reader Jcresanto for the tip.

After the Philadelphia Eagles defeated the New York Giants 23 to 11 on Sunday, New York Giants fans decided to take out their frustrations on a couple of burned-out vehicles.

These videos were posted on You Tube a couple of days ago, but were removed.

They have been re-posted.

deadspin.com

Some Giants fans were positively apoplectic after the loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday. So much that they chose to take out their frustration on burned-out cars in a parking lot.

Now, obviously, these are a select group of drooling Big Blue fans and in no way reflect the majority of their fanbase ( I hope). Thankfully, it appears the vehicles being destroyed with bats, kicked, and vandalized were already in bad shape due to an unfortunate tailgate mishap earlier in the day, according to the comments in this NBC story. “Justin” and his merry pack of Jersey mooks make the most of the situation, though.

In the video below, Justin is joined by a few other individuals to help obliterate a Porsche. Points for the girl chucking the hibachi; no points for Justin’s flailing windshield leap. Oh, and the guy half-assedly kicking the bumper should really be ashamed of himself for not taking full advantage of the weaponry available to him. “Give ‘im the bat!”

Idiots.

Kansas City.com

NORMAL, Ill. - Wedding bells meant Taco Bell for Paul and Caragh Brooks.

Customers inside the fast-food restaurant continued to order tacos and burritos as the couple sat Friday in an orange booth at Taco Bell and exchanged vows.

“It’s appropriate,” groom Paul Brooks said. “It’s an offbeat relationship.”

Employees decorated the restaurant with streamers and balloons. The bride wore a $15 hot-pink dress, and the entire wedding cost about $200.

Caragh Brooks, 21, of Australia, met Paul Brooks, 30, on a dating Web site. They already had the same last name. The two wrote back and forth and talked on the phone for nine months before Caragh moved to the United States.

Congratulations to the happy couple.

Hopefully they drank Pepto Bismol before consummating the marriage.

She is cute.

Telegraph

Natalie Dylan, 22, claims her offer of a one-night stand has persuaded 10,000 men to bid for sex with her.

Last September, when her auction came to light, she had received bids up to £162,000 ($243,000) but since then interest in her has rocketed.

The student who has a degree in Women’s Studies insisted she was not demeaning herself.

Miss Dylan, from San Diego, California, USA, said she was persuaded to offer herself to the highest bidder after her sister Avia, 23, paid for her own degree after working as a prostitute for three weeks.

She said she had had a lot of attention from a wide range of men, including “weirdos”, “those who get really graphically sexual about what they want to do to me” and “lots of polite requests from rich businessmen”.

Miss Dylan said she did not think it was particularly significant to be willing to sell your virginity and insisted that she was happy to undergo medical tests for any doubters.

She said: “I get some men who are obviously looking for a girlfriend but I try and make it clear that this is a one-night-only offer.

“I know that a lot of people will condemn me for this because it’s so taboo but I really don’t have a problem with that.

“My study is completely authentic in that I truly am auctioning my virginity but I am not being sold into this. I’m not being taken advantage of in any way.

“I think me and the person I do it with will both profit greatly from the deal.”

She added: “It’s shocking that men will pay so much for someone’s virginity, which isn’t even prized so highly anymore.”

Obviously, virginity is a prized possession. More power to the people that can wait to have sex.

With that said, will Bank of America let me take out a $250,000 loan?